Follow-up to last week. This is the fourth and final installment of my series on Atomic Habits. The first part of this post contains mostly quotes/advice from the book with some limited commentary. Second part contains some reflection and updates on progress.
The Cardinal Rule of Behaviour Change: What is immediately rewarded is repeated. What is immediately punished is avoided. To get a habit to stick you need to feel immediately successful—even if it’s in a small way
The first three laws of behaviour change— make it obvious, make it attractive, and make it easy— increase the odds that a behaviour will be performed this time. The fourth law of behaviour change—make it satisfying—increases the odds that a behaviour will be repeated next time.
This seems so obvious on the surface. Makes me wonder why so many of us attempt to strong-will ourselves into new habits. “Just gotta stay motivated and I’ll keep this habit going!”
There is a lesson from Tim Ferris along these lines. “I value self-discipline, but creating systems that make it next to impossible to misbehave is more reliable than self-control.”
When selecting rewards for habits, do not select rewards that run counter to what the habit is about.
Do NOT reward buying a new jacket if habit is to save money
CAN reward buying a new jacket if habit is to read more.
Track your habits
One of the most satisfying feelings is the feeling of making progress. Tracking habits should be as automated and simple as possible
It is difficult to start a habit, it is even more difficult to start a habit and start a habit tracking habit at the same time.
Only manually track your most important habits.
Immediately measure and mark your habit after finishing a session.
Don’t break the chain. Try to keep your habit streak alive.
Never miss twice. If you miss one day, try to get back on track as quickly as possible.
This is why my previous attempt failed. My tracking system wasn’t automated enough. It required too much effort, leading to a breakdown once the chain was broken and will power faded.
Accountability
In general, the more local, tangible, concrete, and immediate the consequence, the more likely it is to influence individual behavior.
An accountability partner can create an immediate cost to inaction. We care deeply about what others think of us, and we do not want others to have a lesser opinion of us.
A habit contract can be used to add a social cost to any behaviour. It makes the costs of violating your promises public and painful. Knowing that someone else is watching you can be a powerful motivator.
Advanced Tactics: How to Go from Being Merely Good to Being Truly Great
The Goldilocks Rule states that humans experience peak motivation when working on tasks that are right on the edge of their current abilities.
The greatest threat to success is not failure but boredom. As habits become routine, they become less interesting and less satisfying. We get bored.
Anyone can work hard when they feel motivated. It’s the ability to keep going when work isn’t exciting that makes the difference. Really successful people feel the same lack of motivation as everyone else, however, they still find a way to practice despite the boredom.
Professionals stick to the schedule; amateurs let life get in the way.
Ouch… This one hurts. It is the factor I fear most when it comes to my own success. While the systems I’ve designed over the past year or so have not been perfect, it is my inability to push through the boredom that ultimately does me in.
Am I destined to forever be an amateur? Or can I find a way to enter the professional ranks and build a schedule I can stick with?
I’m optimistic for the latter.
You need to layer improvements on top of one another. Right when things are starting to feel automatic and you are becoming comfortable is when you must avoid slipping into the trap of complacency.
Engage in reflection and review to make sure you are still improving:
Every summer:
What are the core values that drive my life and work?
How am I living and working with integrity right now?
How can I set a higher standard in the future?
Every new year:
What went well this year?
What didn’t go so well this year?
What did I learn?
Keep your identity small. The tighter we cling to an identity, the harder it becomes to grow beyond it. The more you let a single belief define you, the less capable you are of adapting when life challenges you.
Phew. Sounds like I’m on a good path to becoming a pro. The one consistent thing I’ve kept up over the past year is my writing. It hasn’t always been geared toward reflection, but I’ve always returned to that path.
I don’t have a ton to add as personal reflection. My notecard marketing is going well. At least, from the standpoint of completing the cards. I haven’t received any calls, but I also ran out of stamps last week, so I’ve got a stack of unsent cards waiting to go out.
All told, I’ve written 142 cards (including the 18 I wrote before the start of June) for an average amount of ~9.5/day. I’m almost I’m right at the halfway point of the project, so that’ll get me near to 300 cards by the end of the month. As a matter of fact, I think I’ll set that as the goal. If I average 10 cards/day I can hit that by the end of the month.
That should be enough to get at least 10 (hopefully closer to 20) people reaching out. Direct mail campaigns typically vary between 1-6% response rate, and of those responders, roughly 10% will end up closing. That means a 3.3% response rate (10/300) should equal 1 sale.
That won’t necessarily workout on this batch, but it’s what I’m hoping for. Depending how successful (or unsuccesful) this goes will determine how I proceed. I may do another month of direct mail, or I may look to switch course.
Beyond Marketing
A couple weeks back I asked myself “what does the perfect day-in-the-life of Jack look like? In hindsight, I think this is too narrow of a view. A perfect day likely has a decent bit of leisure time, meaning I wouldn’t get to all the things that I like to do.
So… Maybe a better reflection is, “what things will compete for Jack’s attention?” Maybe follow that up with, “what things does Jack wish to give his attention to?” There is no escaping certain have-to’s in life. But filling life with more want-to’s than have-to’s is what I’m going for.
Bo Burnham’s recent special, Inside, helped me realize how much I’ve missed music in my life. I haven’t created music as a serious pursuit for quite a while. I’d really like that to be a bigger part of my life again. On that note, I would like art (as a whole) to fill more of my life. Writing, woodworking, etc.
I feel somewhat selfish that family didn’t come first in my want-to thoughts. But, to be honest, I’ve always needed space to be myself. Once I have that space I am more than happy to be what others need me to be. Even if that means sacrificing what I want for the time being.
There's a quote (I think from 7 Habits) that I’m reminded of. Something to the effect of, “When children gain true ownership of something, they share very freely.” Once I gain true ownership of myself then I share myself freely. When I feel trapped by the needs and desires of others is when I start to spiral in a very negative way.
Beyond music/art and family, I want to continue the flipping business. Not sure if I’ll continue the agent business long-term. Considering adding a notary business to the rotation, but I gotta look more into that.
I’d also like some form of reading/research to be a part of the competition for my attention. Also outdoor-type stuff like hiking/fishing/etc.
Hmm… I guess I had more personal reflection to add than I first thought. Not going to pretend I have a super solid idea of all the things I wish to have competing for my attention. So going to stop for now.
Off to reflect more and will be back next week. See ya then! ✌️
